Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was mostly a blast. We decided to leave at 4 on Wednesday afternoon. Pretty much because we didn't want to sit around and wait anymore. Emily came with us and the first hour was pretty nice. Marley talked for 30 minutes, then slept for about 30 more minutes. Then, she got fussy, so I stopped to feed her and Asa walked around with her a little bit...

See that smile? haha, Marley was planning her mission for the next three hours and it did not involve any smiles.

So, we set off again with screaming. We literally pulled out of the Livestock show parking lot and her screams were so loud that I was sure something was really wrong with her. We pull into the next drive way and I take her out of her car seat. She stops crying. Put her back in. Cry. Drive 30 miles. Get out and walk around Woody's. She is happy for 10 minutes. Cry then sleep. It was pretty much like that the whole way. Except, I am making it sound like she was just crying. Oh no. She was screaming. It broke my heart every minute. We threatened to "just take her out!" while we were driving, but it seemed that as soon as we said that she would fall asleep. So, we finally got to Mimi's house after 6 and a half hours (the trip is supposed to take 4). I threatened to move to Austin that day so that we never had to drive anywhere again.

Once we were there we all had a blast. Marley got to hang out with lots of family members and have plenty of people to listen to her every coo and laugh about every move she made. She loved Jack and I was really glad that AJ and Uncle Andy got to meet her finally. They all told us how beautiful she was and what a great baby she was. I also heard many stories about how I was not as good of a baby as Marley is. Thanks.

My Mimi is like the master at putting Marley to sleep. Marley feels so relaxed with her that she just passes out. With us, she needs to be swaddled, walked, bounced, sucking on a paci, and sung to. Mimi literally just sits down and holds her and she's out. Without a paci! I was so jealous, so I made mental notes of how she did it. Marley barely cried while we were there. It's not like she cries all the time here, but she really barely did it at Mimi's. She was so happy!

Thanksgiving morning was a big morning for Marley because she became partially mobile! Marley rolled from her back to stomach! We had several witnesses, but no video of it. She did it like five times, but has not felt like doing it since. This morning she went from stomach to back! Now, we just need her to remember how to do both of them in a row! She'll get there soon enough though.

Mimi and my mom also bought Marley some super cute clothes. Carter's and Oshkosh were having a big sale, so we went wild! We bought a cute outfit for our Christmas card. Hopefully the weather will be nice enough for us to do that tomorrow.

We decided to really wait until night time last night to leave. Before we put her in the car seat she was sound asleep. As soon as we lowered her into it, she was awake. But, she was a perfect angel the whole way home. She was awake for about an hour at the beginning and the passes out until we got home at 1:30 am. It actually took the regular 4 hours to get home.

I have also successfully put Marley to sleep three times without the pacifier today! I feel like Supermom!!!!!!!!

Thanksgiving Travels

Marley's new babylegs came in! I saw these on someone else's blog and loved them. So, I ordered some and they finally got here! Aren't the precious?

Tomorrow we will be making our first big trip as a family to Austin for Thanksgiving. Normally it would take about 4 hours... so we'll see how long this takes. We are planning to leave in the evening after Marley goes to sleep. Unfortunately, she doesn't usually stay asleep. But I am hoping the car will keep her asleep. My sister Emily is going with us, so she will be able to help keep Marley company if she wakes up.

I am also excited to go shopping for Christmas! Asa thinks it dumb to buy Marley presents from us since we pretty much buy her presents all the time... but it's Christmas! Even if she doesn't know right now, one day she will want to see pictures and hear about what we got her. That's part of the fun of being a parent! Then, I was thinking about how many toys this kid is going to need and I got a little worried that we won't have enough. I mean, I have no idea if kids can play with the same thing for hours or if they get bored after 5 minutes. She will need toys for our house, the office, and my mom's house! That's a lot of toys! She also needs a high chair for all three places. And I'm not exaggerating! She really does need them. I want her to have a Rainforest Jumperoo, also. So, if any of the family reading this wants to take control of one of those things, let me know! We would really appreciate it.

I am really nervous about tomorrow though. Luckily, if we forget something we are going to a place much bigger than the one we live in. Wish us luck!

Marley's Day

She Bumbo-ed...

She played with her cute little feetsies...

She did tummy time with Mommy...

She played with her activity mat...

She also watched Kima play with her ball... I don't know why, but I think this picture is so cute!

Then Mommy tortured her with animal crackers...



haha. Poor Baby.

She also went to visit her Mimi and Papa, but we didn't get any picture of that today.

It's Going Too Fast

I am very emotional tonight about how fast things are changing. I am crying as I type this. I can't believe how much things have changed already. It was only 15 weeks ago that we were coming home with our newborn daughter and now here she is laughing, grabbing things, and talking all the time. I am so terrified that I will forget how things were. I know I have hundreds of pictures to remind me, but it's not the same. How could it go so fast already? Soon she will six months old, then a year. Walking and running and talking. I don't ever want to forget any of it. Tonight while I was holding her and she was smiling in her sleep I just cried and cried. I want her to want me like this forever. I want to hold her and rock her to sleep every night. I don't want to miss a thing. I am so excited for the future, but she will only be exactly like this right now. There is no going back. It makes me feel like I am not enjoying this enough. I have work and school and chores. I wish I could throw all that away and just play with Marley all day long. I am so glad I have her. I honestly don't even remember who I was before she got here. She is my reason for getting up and going to work and school. I want her life to be better than this tiny apartment with no yard to play in. I guess all moms feel this way at some point. It makes me appreciate my mom so much more. I have always appreciated her, but feeling the way that she felt makes me want to hug her. Here I am, the one she cried about, crying about my own. It must make her so happy and so sad at the same time to think about everything that has happened. You want your kids to grow up happy and healthy and thriving. But you also want to keep them forever. You want them to live with you and rub their backs at night and cuddle with them when they can't sleep. I know I will be there for Marley just like my mom was there for me. I have the best mother in the world and I can only hope that Marley and I are best friends like my mom and I are.

Unconditional love is such a powerful thing.

Today

We went shopping today in Lufkin for Christmas presents for our families... but we ended up only buying things for Marley. We bought her some Christmas presents... but I want to use them now. So, they may not last that long. Anyway, we went through Target for like 2 hours and she stayed in the car seat most of the time. Then we parked the car in the shade and I fed Marley while Asa walked and got us lunch. There were plenty of people that drove by and I was really curious if they could tell what I was doing. So, afterwards, she was really tired. She slept again for a little while so we could walk around the mall. After like 30 minutes she got fussy. She had been in the car seat for a while, so I put her in the sling. This is probably only the 3rd time I have ever put her in it and the first two times she hated it. She squirmed and squeaked until I took her out. It is actually a little bit too small, but I keep trying (thinking that I might have lost some weight to make it more loose). So, I put her in it to try again and it worked great. She looked around for a while and then passed out. Without a pacifier I might add!!! So, every female we walked by made an "awww" face and said she was "so cute". It makes me feel so happy. One woman walked up and said that her sister was about to have a baby and wanted to know where I got it. I told her hotslings.com and she got really excited! So, here she is sleeping before I put her in the car for the trip back. (P.S. she was awake and happy the whole way back! Totally not normal.)
So, when we got home I couldn't wait to put her in the Bumbo. She just looked around for a little while like "What's going on?"

Then she got really mad...

We tried again later and she still looked freaked out. But she wasn't mad, so that's good.

Also, Marley balding like an old man...

Playtime

Playing with daddy...

Marley is all about touching things now. She is interested in everything!

Babies are so bipolar. Here is Marley at 5:46 pm...

Here is Marley at 5:47 pm...

She really loves herself. She totally thinks she is the cutest baby in the world! Well, maybe that's because I tell her she is 100 times a day.

Coloring

Marley is practicing her streamline for when she is on swim team in a few years. Her arms are too short to rise above her head though. At least she's trying!

The bluest eyes I've ever seen!

This is literally the ONLY way I could get her to stop crying - T.V. I will hold strong next time and not let her do it because I don't want her to until she is 2. But at least she was happy. She loves House and Dancing with the Stars.

Marley and her Mimi on my birthday. She loves her Mimi, too.

All tuckered out from all the excitement of the day.

The past few days have been pretty uneventful. Wednesday nights I have yoga at 6:30 at the school. So, I feed Marley around 5:30 and then try to get out the door on time for my weekly break from life. Well, last night we colored mandalas. This is circular art that monks and other yoga people do for relaxation. Let me just say, coloring is the best. If you are stressed out and tired of being busy all the time: sit down and color something. You have to be away from distractions, but it is a great stress reliever. I felt like a much better mommy when I got home with a clear head. So, go ahead and try it!

Marley is actually grabbing things now. Less than a week ago she starting swatting at things and now here she is grabbing them and trying to bring them to her mouth! Life is happening so fast! She loves to be on her activity mat now that she can actually do things.

I found a cool website. But you have to live in a big city for it to be useful. handmedowns.com It's a place where parents can sell things they are not using anymore to people who don't mind buying them. Everything looks like it is in good shape. I might try to buy a high chair (since I need three!) from here so it will be less expensive.

Good Things About Today

Marley let me sleep until 8:30! Only mommies can understand what a difference 30 minutes makes!

My mom got to come over and visit with us this morning. Marley slept through most of it, but she was here.

I got my major officially changed to Health Science. It was a big ordeal with lots of people who didn't know what was going on (including me). I got sent to five different offices, climbed like 4 flights of stairs, and talked to about 6 rude people. I was told by the Psychology department that I needed to have the Health Science department call them. Then the Health Science office said that the Psychology office needed to contact them. So, I went back to the Psychology Dept. (because evidently no one wants to be the one who has to actually dial the numbers) and they just did it all without talking to the other people. Whatever.

I got to register for classes. I am taking three online classes and one class on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 8:00 am - 8:50 am. My mom has class those days, so I will drop Marley off at my mom's, then take her car to school (faculty parking!) and go to class. My mom will bring Marley in my car when my class is getting out and I will just switch places with her.

Apple juice did the trick for anyone who was sitting on the edge of their seats in anticipation. Actually I don't know if apple juice did it, or if Marley was just ready to do it. It was a huge mess that I don't really want to encounter again. Regardless though, it's done and that's a very good thing.

We went out to eat tonight and Marley literally just sat there like a big kid who couldn't say anything. She people-watched with us and didn't make a peep. She smiled a couple times while we talked to her... she was the perfect baby. I bet all the other mommies were jealous.

Poop

I called tho doctor this morning and made an appointment for Marley and her poop situation. We went in at 11 and waited in a room full of sick kids. Not only were they sick, but they were all walking around, playing with toys, and coughing and sneezing all over everything. I vowed that when Marley is old enough to do that, we will bring our own coloring book to look at. No wonder everyone is sick! And then all the little soccer moms were all laughing about it together and talking about how cute it was when one sneezed on another. Common sense, people!

So, anyway, they weighed Marley (the part of the appointment that I was actually excited about) and she is 13 pounds, 3 ounces! My little girl is growing! Then the doctor came in and told me I need to give her a suppository this evening. She made a comment that we "can't keep doing this" which I didn't understand since we had never done it before. I asked if there were any other options. She said that I could give her 2 ounces of apple juice and 1 ounce of water tonight and see if that helps. If I doesn't, I am supposed to give her a suppository tomorrow night. I am going to ignore that part for a few days and keep trying the juice. I would much rather do this naturally... Breastfed babies are supposed to "un-constipatable", so I don't really think that's the problem. I really feel like she doesn't need to do it yet.

One day Marley will probably be upset that I am sharing her poop schedules with everyone. But, hey, this is what moms have to worry about, right?

Asa and I were talking last night about how we are going to handle next August when I have to start actually going to school on campus and he will be working. We are still holding out that Oncor will call him (sometime in November)... I was thinking about how much money he would be making and it would be about twice as much as we collectively get right now. Or he could be a stay at home dad while I am at work and then he can take a part time job a few evenings a week.
We'll see...
Marley has been batting at things all day. It is so cool how she figures something out one time and then she can just do it for hours. I love babies!

She Did It

Well, after a terrible day of Marley screaming constantly, she did something amazing. She reached her tiny little hand up and touched my cheek. She looked like it was exactly what she had planned to do. She touched it with the tips of her fingers and then rolled her hand around with a big smile on her face. It made me want to cry, but I smiled instead so she wouldn't get confused. It was amazing to see her have such purpose in her eyes and watch her try to figure it out. Moments like that make everything we have to put up with worth it.

Not a Happy Camper

Marley has been crying off and on ALL day long. Asa's went to do some boy thing this morning, so I went over to my mom's for a break. I held her, she cried. My mom held her, she cried. It can probably be blamed on the fact that she has not pooped in 8 days. 7 days is normal for Marley, but this is the first time we have hit 8. And it is not a good thing. I finally came home about 30 minutes ago and she is now sound asleep with Daddy. Maybe she just missed the smell of her own house...

We are going to our neighbor's recital at the college tonight. Hopefully she will behave for my mom when she is keeping her. If not... I will have to leave the concert. I'll just fall to the floor and crawl out undetected. 007 style.

Today is my Birthday, but...

Birthdays are somewhat less fun when you have an infant. She still cries. She still poops. I still have laundry to do... She did give me a break and slept an hour longer than normal. That was nice of her. I guess that's a pretty good birthday present.

I have noticed that I get really frustrated with Marley is screaming in my ear and I can't figure out what's wrong. I try to feed her, rock her, give her the binky, walk around, sing... but she keeps crying. This sounds normal except that when I ask Asa to try for a little while, she immediately quiets. So, she can "feel" my stress. I have started to try to relax the last few days, but sometimes it is so hard! I don't want her to be crying, it breaks my heart. So, I get upset. Here are my strategies for calming myself and Marley at the same time- sing softly and sway and make a "sh" sound really softly. If I combine that with thought of how sweet she was earlier and how cute her laugh is, it totally works!

This morning the three of us went to Chilis for lunch. After about 10 minutes in the restaurant, she was sound asleep! How can it be so easy sometimes and so hard other times? What is the secret?

Here are some cute pictures from this morning:
It was REALLY cold outside!

The Time Of My Life

This is really the best time of my life. I am so blessed with a wonderful family with Asa and Marley and a wonderful family of my mom, Joel, Chris, and Emily. And Asa's family is also wonderful. How could I be more happy?! I know that things with Marley will only get more fun, but I could be happy if it just stayed the way it is right now. She is an amazing little person and I can't wait to see where things will go!

I guess I am considered an "attached parent". I am a breastfeeding, baby wearing, co-sleeping (half the night), responsive parent. I get SO mad when people tell me that I am spoiling my baby by wanting to hold her or responding to her first cries. Don't tell me that she just needs to cry for a little while and then she will be okay. If I can help her right now, I will! I will not be able to let her "cry it out"... I don't know how some mothers do. I really just think you do what works for you. I want to be a mother that does these things, so no one should be able to tell me otherwise. I just have to listen to what they say, nod, and forget about it. Everyone is going to have an opinion at some point. I will not get everything right, but I will always love her no matter what. And if I want to change something for my next little bundle, I will.

I have pretty much given up on trying to ditch the pacifier fir right now. I will try again in a few weeks, but she really acts like she needs it right now. I am very lucky that she only wants it for going to sleep right now. She doesn't want it when she's playing or once she gets to sleep... just while she's on her way.

I have been getting really excited about Christmas! Not only will this be Marley's first holiday season, but our first as a family together. I want to get her presents and we will take lots of pictures of course. It is my birthday tomorrow and Asa's was the 11th. I will be 21. I have never liked an alcohol I have tasted, so its not like I am heartbroken that I won't have any. Breastfeeding Marley is WAY more important to me. Did you know that for the first year of life you can save about $3000 if you breastfeed?! Seems like incentive enough.

Marley is a little angel lately. She coos and laughs all the time and just figured out her hands a little bit. She has just started to blow little raspberries with her mouth. She makes a "buh" sounds and purses her lips while spit pours out of her mouth. It is the cutest thing even though there is spit all over her. We are trying to get her to say "boob". That would be a fun first word! She will spend the entire day with her hands together in front of her chest. She just rolls them around and feels on her fingers and then sucks on the when they get close to her mouth. It is the cutest thing! I am worried that she is behind physically compared to other babies. Than I have to remember not to compare. It really doesn't matter how fast or slow she is at learning something, because she WILL get there, no matter what. I hope by Christmas she can at least grab some things though... that would be fun.

Marley hates tummy-time.

Marley's new best friend! She will sit there forever looking at herself and at her feet!

Working out! Building up those neck muscles!

I really feel like Marley knows how much I love her. When other people are holding her, she stares right at me. She loves me... even if she can't tell me yet!

Sleeping through the night

Marley slept again for 10 hours last night! It was 5:00 when I finally woke her up, because I couldn't even sleep since my boobs were so full!! Then she went back to sleep until 8:00. I am so glad she can make it that long. She seems so little still, so I don't know how she does it, but she does!

Yesterday, Asa and I went to target to do some Christmas shopping. Marley was really good, even though she didn't really get a good nap in. Anyway, this woman in Target walked up and asked me if she was a preemie! She didn't even ask me how old she was or anything. I was upset because people keep making comments like that. She is just petite, not unhealthy! I got a little annoyed and defensive, so I just said something and walked away.

She has all the sudden started to happy most of the day. She cries MUCH less than she used to and wants to smile and talk all the time. Asa went camping Friday night and came back on Saturday. He said she was totally different than when he left, and that she was so much more fun. She was fun before, but she actually responds now! And he actually wants to play with her now since she will laugh at him so much.

I am starting to really wish that I could find a job where I can work from home. Not for right now, but when I have future children. Maybe by then I will be able to afford to have someone take care of my kids at home. I just keep thinking about day cares and they bug me. I want my kids to spend time with someone that cares about them. Anyone have any ideas for jobs I can do from home?

3 Month Birthday

Marley has been "talking" a whole lot today! She actually "sang" with me too! I am excited because I can actually interact with her. She is also laughing more easily. She used to only laugh when we did something really silly, but now she is so happy all the time. She also slept 10 hours straight last night!! She can hold her head up really well by now and has really been figuring out her hands. She grabs Asa's hair all the time and always manage to find her fingers to suck on. The other day she reached up and touched my face! She looked like she completely meant to do it. I was so proud of her... she's growing up so fast!

Today Marley is three months old. It feels like I just had her last week though. I was looking at pictures of me when I was pregnant the other day thinking about how weird it is that I know now who was in there the whole time. I am definitely loving this part of being a mother. I hope that one day Marley can read all this and realize how fascinated I am with her and how much I love her. It is hard to even explain how much I adore her. Even when she toots and stinks up the whole room, she is adorable. I love being with her everyday. I love being the person she wants. And I love seeing her smile at me. Right now is the best time we have had. I know she sees me and loves me! I loved when she was a newborn, but right now is so much fun! I can't wait for what comes next!

Almost 3 months!!

Well Obama won the election. I didn't really have a strong opinion either way since I had a newborn and wasn't paying close attention... but I wanted McCain to win. He seemed like a better and wiser person. But here is something way more exciting... some pictures taken of Marley with our new camera! I have been worried about Marley gaining the right amount of weight. Maybe it is just because we haven't been to the doctor recently to get weighed. It also feels like she doesn't smile or coo as much as she used to. I am probably just worrying for nothing and she is fine. but I have missed all her giggles and smiles. They get me though the day.

I am getting really nervous about the trip to Austin for Thanksgiving. I can't figure out when is the best time to go. I think we will try to leave Wednesday night after Marley has gone to sleep. Her first stretch at night is usually 6 or 7 hours, so we can make it the whole way by then. Granted, we will be really tired on Thanksgiving, but that's what family is for! haha If it doesn't work out, we can always change the way we do it for the trip back.

We tried to put Marley in her crib today and she wouldn't sleep in it. She is reaching the point now (3 months) when "they" tell you that your baby can start manipulating you and getting picky. I don't want to have a spoiled baby, but I want her to be happy and well taken care of. I want her to get sick of the pacifier. I try as hard as I can to stop her from needing it, but she grunts for it! And as soon as I give it to her, her eyes roll back in her head and she goes to sleep. I am not doing it after she is 4 months. I want to be her source of comfort, not the pacifier.

Friday is Marley's 3 month birthday. She and I will be celebrating by ourselves since Asa will be out of town. He is going fishing with his dad for his birthday. Asa's is 5 days away and mine is 9.

Tonight, Asa and I bought each other our birthday presents: commitment rings. We are going to wear them on our right ring fingers. They are not wedding rings, obviously, but they are a symbol of our commitment to each other and to Marley. Everyone makes comments about how we are not married yet and ask when it is going to happen. But, I feel like our life with Marley is much more of a promise to each other than a piece of paper that says we are married. We know we will be together, and it doesn't matter if that means we are married.