The First Few Weeks

I can barely remember Marley's first two months of life. I have random glimpses of things, but it's hard to actually picture what our daily life was like. I didn't manage to write very much during her first six weeks, and now there are so many things that have been forgotten. But, I do remember some things that never got written down.

She was born the day before the opening ceremony for the 2008 summer Olympics. So, I remember nursing her on the couch and watching swimming, volleyball, and diving. She slept on her belly on the couch next to us, as we cheered for team USA and celebrated every one of Michael Phelps' medals.

I remember my first night at home, my mom came by with dinner only an hour after we had left her house. She helped me lay Marley down in her cradle for the first time, as well as successfully get out of the room without her waking up.

I remember putting Marley in her crib for the first time so I could take a shower, and checking the baby monitor at least every 30 seconds to make sure I wasn't missing her crying. And when I got out of the shower a few minutes later, she was still sound asleep and content.

Diaper changes were so scary at first. Her body was so tiny, and it took a while to figure out how to change her clothes the easiest and quickest way. It was fun to see her in all the outfits we had picked out for her, but it was so hard to actually put them on her. We had to navigate which hand went where and how to pull the clothes on while holding her head and getting them on straight. There should be classes about that stuff.

Something I try to think about very seldomly were the hours and hours spent trying to get her to go to sleep at night. I can still remember the feeling of sitting in my glider, just rocking, and hushing, and singing, while tears rolled down both of our faces. You feel like you're doing something wrong, and you wonder what the secret trick is. Does everyone know it but you? Is she hungry? Is she teething already? What if we live the next 5 years by sleeping during the day and playing at night? Could we do it? Is she just over-tired? How do I know? And most importantly how do I fix it? It's exhausting just to think about that feeling.

All of those things, the good and the bad, fade away. Tonight I curled up next to my toddler and thought about all of these memories. I am amazed at how different life is. I miss those times, and I lament the fact that I will never have my little baby Marley to fit in my arms like she used to. But, lying next to her sweet, sleeping face and watching her grin as she dreams, I know it is worth every thing. Every night I spent crying, trying to get her to sleep. Every day I spent trying to soothe a fussy baby. Those days and nights have led me to this wonderful little person.

I'm excited to see her pigtails bouncing as she runs through the house one day. I'm excited to hear her talking in sentences. I'm excited to see her teaching her little brother or sister sign language. I'm excited to see her catch her first fish with Daddy or ride a bike for the first time. I'm excited to help her study for her first spelling test, and bring home her first A+.

I'm excited about these things, but I can wait for them. Because this moment right here is so important to me also.

When Marley was three months old, I wrote this during an emotional night:

How could it go so fast already? Soon she will six months old, then a year. Walking and running and talking. I don't ever want to forget any of it. Tonight while I was holding her and she was smiling in her sleep I just cried and cried. I want her to want me like this forever. I want to hold her and rock her to sleep every night. I don't want to miss a thing. I am so excited for the future, but she will only be exactly like this right now. There is no going back.

I knew how it felt then, and it feels the same way now. Time goes by so quickly. I promise to soak up this time, because it will be over soon and I will miss it. Just like I miss those first few weeks.

Babysitting the Bollins, Part Two

Asa and I spent Thursday and Friday helping watch the Bollin girls. On Thursday, we kept them from about 4 in the afternoon until about 2 in the morning, and on Friday we kept them for the afternoon at their house. Ami and Tony spent that whole time in the hospital trying to figure out why Ami was so sick. I really had a blast taking care of them, but it wore me out! I'm glad that I don't have four kids all the time, because I don't know if I could handle it day in and day out! The girls had fun with each other most of the time.

The first day, we kept them at our house. We walked to the park, played outside in the drive way, watched movies, ate dinner together, and then finally had their first sleepover together! We didn't get to do the whole wake-up-and-have-breakfast-together thing, since they left at about 2 in the morning. But Marley woke up the next morning and said "Abby, bed?" Sadly, I had to tell her they had gone home, but little did we know, we would be seeing them again that afternoon!

Friday afternoon, we stayed at their house, and that seemed to go a lot smoother. Marley liked having new toys to play with, and the Bollin girls were more comfortable with following the rules and sharing the toys at their house. But, by the end of the second day, the kids were arguing a lot more, pushing each other out of my lap, and there seemed to be a lot more booboos happening.

Luckily, they figured out what was ailing Ami and how to fix it. They got to come home, and were sweet enough to make us dinner that night. Spaghetti, Marley's favorite!

It definitely wore me out to take care of so many kids, but I am so glad that I was able to do it. I already know how hard it is for a stay-at-home mom to get things done alone during the day, and it has to be ten times as hard when you are sick and need to see a doctor. Living the Army life means that your friends have to play the role of your family when you are stationed away from them. Ami and I are both the kind of people that have a hard time asking for help. Usually, I would rather struggle through whatever it is, rather than ask someone to help me. But, I know I will need their help before we leave. I may have to go to the doctor or have a meeting without Marley. And I am happy to know that we have friends who would help us with that.

Babysitting the Bollins

Last week, Sgt. Bollin asked if we could babysit his girls for a few hours so that he and Ami could go out to dinner alone. We gladly accepted, and I hurried to get the house clean before their arrival!

Marley had a hard time remembering how to share at first. It was a little upsetting to her that Abby and Ainsley were wanting to play with her toys! But she got over it and we all ended up having a blast together! The girls played shopping, we read books, I helped them hang upside down on the couch, they ate PB&Js, and chased each other through the house. We did have a little drama over candy and arguments over sharing, but it wasn't anything serious. Everyone recovered within a few seconds.It was amazing to see Marley play with her friends and want to be a big kid. At one point, Abby and Ainsley were running in a really tight circle in Marley's room, trying to get her to do the same thing. She looked at them like they were crazy and never did it. About 5 minutes later, she came in the kitchen where I was and started running in a circle just like the girls had done. She had a huge smile on her face when she finished, like she had really done something cool!

Sometimes I wish she already had sibling, so that she would have someone to play with all the time. But, she doesn't... so we'll have to keep spending time with friends!

Playing Disc Golf in Rolla

Last weekend, we went disc golfing in Rolla. There was a brand new disc golf course that Asa wanted to try out, so we loaded up the car and headed out early in the morning. Marley loved watching Asa play. She probably hasn't gone with him in over a year, and at that time she probably had no idea what was going on. This time, though, she was all over it! She scoped out the baskets and pointed them out for him, and she even cheered "YAAAAY!!" when he got the disc in the basket.
She was also a great frisbee holder!
After disc golf, we went to the nearby Lions' Club Park and Marley got the play on all the playgrounds. This park has the most playgrounds I have ever seen at a park, and we have been here several times in the past. Marley loves the variety of all the different things to do, and never stays at one place for very long!
She wasn't nearly as excited about driving Asa around as he was, obviously!

Another use for an iPhone

Marley is obsessed with our iPhones. She always wants to play with them, so I decided to find some kid-friendly apps to put on our phones for her to play with. My favorite one is called My First Words. It is set up like flash cards that she flips through, and the woman's voice says the word. I have tried buying all kinds of flash cards to do with Marley, but it never held her interest like these do. Most of the words you hear her say in the video are things I taught her and she has been saying them for a few days. But I have never heard her say cheeseburger or mushrooms! Those are hard words, but she does pretty well! I would still rather teach her the words myself instead of some random lady's voice, but this is a great distraction tool and it actually teaches her something!

Marley Can Talk! from Jillian Shaw on Vimeo.

Diva, even at bedtime

25 Months

My 25 month old. Stunning, right?!She is learning so much now. We work on numbers, shapes, letters, and colors constantly. When she sees fire trucks, she tells me there are two of them. Or when I pull out wipes to change her, she tells me I pulled out three. I love teaching her, but I also love seeing what she learns just from our daily activities. She picks up on things I do and instantly understands it and repeats it. She is officially not nursing at all any more. She doesn't even ask at bedtime, which is crazy to me. Two months ago I could only get her to sleep by nursing her, and now she goes to sleep without even mentioning it. And she also sleeps completely through the night now!

She peed in the potty twice last night, and pooped in the potty for the first time! You all wanted to know that, I'm sure! But, hey, it's a big accomplishment! And all three of those times, she went into the bathroom all by herself and did what she needed to do! We have tried bringing up the potty training thing in the past, but she never really liked the idea so I let it go. But tonight she was all about it, and didn't want anything to do with putting a diaper on!
She is exploding with new words all the time. This morning, she woke up and asked for a bagel. She said "excuse me" the other day, and repeats pretty much anything we ask her to. It's crazy to me how much she picks up on and repeats! Everyone kept telling us that she was quiet for so long, but once she got the hang of it she would be talking all the time. And here we are at that stage! It's so fun to be able to interact with her and understand what she's saying. We can have our own little conversations and it's a blast! She makes me laugh all day long with the things she is saying, and she knows she's funny too! The two year old tendencies I was having a hard time with a few weeks ago seem to be getting better. I'm not really sure why. Maybe I'm doing something different or she is changing a little bit. Either way, our days are a lot happier lately. Oh, one big thing is learning which battles were worth it. For example, her outfits never match any more, and I have given up on trying to get them to. She wants to pick them out, so I let her (within reason). I get to win plenty of other arguments during the day, clothes just don't seem worth it. I also think her burst in vocabulary in helping. When she starts to cry, I stop her and tell her she needs to use her words. She usually stops crying and tells me what she wants and then the drama is all over.

I always think that each stage i get to is the most fun. Of course I miss some things about her being a baby, but she is so much fun now! She learns so quickly, engages us, surprises us, and makes us laugh. Life is so fun with our little two year old! I can't wait to see what's next!

Shots

Confession:
Marley hasn't gotten shots since her one year well baby exam.

I didn't plan it that way. I didn't conciously decide not to vaccinate her. It just never happened. When we went to the next appointment where she would have gotten shots, she had a cold so she couldn't get them. Then our insurance was switching. Then I didn't know who I could go to. Then we lost her shot record. Then we moved and I didn't know where to go again. Then our old doctor took 6 weeks to send her records here. Then the doctor's phone wasn't working. Then we were in Nacogdoches and couldn't get them done.

Anyway, one excuse after another and here we are a year behind on her shots.

But today I made huge progress and actually got her two vaccinations! How it works for us is that we have to go to our off-post assigned doctor for the appointment and then they make a sort of prescription for the shots she needs. We then take that prescription to the immunization clinic on post and get her shots. Her prescription was for five different shots, but we are only going to get two at a time.

Today, she got the MMR and Variccela vaccines. She was a much better sport that I thought she would be. She only cried for about a minute until the nurse gave her two bracelets and a lollipop. My Marley knows what she likes and quickly smiled about the candy! She hated the cartoon character band aids that the nurse put on her and insisted on putting them on my arms. Which was fine, I love sporting Tasmanian Devil band aids!

So, in two or three weeks we will go back and continue on our list of shots. I think was a bigger deal for me than it was for her! I still hate it just as much. It's hard to watch her unsuspecting face go from smiling to screaming in half a second! Hopefully this gets even easier each time we go, instead of getting harder! That would be nice!

A Happy Third Birthday

On Saturday afternoon, we went to Ainsley's third birthday party! Marley was a little nervous when we got there. But, much to my surprise, she warmed back up to the girls quickly! She would even walk over to the playground with Abby or Ainsley and play over there without me. This may sound like a normal kid thing to you, but that is very out of character for Marley. Normally, I need to be within 5 feet of her at all times or she just can't have fun. But I am so thankful she was independent!

Ainsley says that Marley is her best friend. If Marley could say Ainsley, I'm sure she would agree! She followed her around, tried to copy what she did, and even held hands with her!

They were so so cute!

All the kids had fun playing together, and I had fun getting to talk to some other adults! I really hope we get to spend more time with the Bollins, because we all get along so well!

Sunday Geocaching

We did some family geocaching on Sunday! The weather has slowly been getting a little warmer every day, so it wasn't quite as "autumn-y" as I would have liked, but we still had fun! Marley was our navigator:And we even had to take our shoes off and cross a creek! The water was freezing!
All along the path were little neighborhoods of butterflies. They were so wrapped up in what they were doing, that Marley could walk right up to them and see them up-close! Unfortunately, a few butterflies lost their lives under Marley's feet, but they will be remembered fondly I'm sure.
I was actually the one to find the geocache, which is very exciting! And we are very thankful to whoever left this little key chain in the geocache, because Marley loved it!
But after the long walk (about a mile), Marley was tired and could barely hold her head up.
And we stopped to take a family picture on our way back across the creek. We are smiling in this picture, but our feet are freezing!

Family Time

We have a new evening activity to do as a family! It feels so good to be back on my bicycle, something that I haven't done since I got pregnant with Marley! We bought a bike trailer for Marley to ride in a few months ago, but this was our first time to ride all together. And we all had a blast! It felt so great to be riding fast down the troop trail and listening to Marley laugh along the way.
Asa came home the other day and told me that he is leaving for JRTC in Louisiana on October 23rd. Not only is that 10 days sooner than we thought, but it also means we will not be together for our first wedding anniversary. Or our second next year. I guess that's just something you get used to as an Army wife.

So, we when I sat down and started looking at what the next 5 months will be like, I was overwhelmed. We are together until October 23rd. From October 23rd until November 22nd, Asa will be in Louisiana and I will be in Nacogdoches. Then we have a few weeks together until December 19th when we travel home for Christmas and Asa's block leave. And then we have January together, and he deploys sometime after that.

It really hurts to think about it. It's really starting to hit me hard. What will it be like? How do I even comprehend how long that year will feel? How will Marley handle it? What will she think about him when he gets back? How often will we get to talk to him? What will it be like when we see each other again? What will I do when I just fall apart one day? How do I put myself back together?

I know I can't spend the time that he is here with us stressing about him leaving, otherwise our time together would be wasted. So, we have to stay as happy and as strong as we can. We have to enjoy every day that we do have together and make memories that mean the world to us. We have to spend our evenings going on bike rides, taking Marley to the park, going geocaching, and grilling in the backyard. Whatever we can do to spend time together and soak it all in. It will go by so much quicker than we want it to.

So, for the next 5 months, it's all about family time.

Fall Feelings

I've always thought that my favorite season was summer. Summer brings longer, sunnier days, swimming, grilling, and more free time for Asa. But when I got back from Texas, there was a chill in the air and I got so excited! That feeling of the autumn breeze and the brightly colored trees and cozy layers of clothing has me so happy! It reminds me of camping, going on picnics, getting married, my birthday, Thanksgiving, and cool weather clothes!

Marley feels it too!

According to my research, it should start getting really cold here in November. So, the next two months will be filled with camping, going to the park, crunching on fallen leaves, taking beautiful pictures, picking out pumpkins, taking Marley trick-or-treating for the first time, a cute little bundled up two year old, and feeling the breeze in our hair. We have two months to live it up in my new favorite season!

Picnic at the spring

Emily V. is in town to visit us, so we decided to do something fun today. We packed up a picnic lunch and drove to a beautiful spring here on post. It was a little bit of a walk to get to the spring, and on the way we saw a bald eagle! He is sitting on the curving branch across the water. You can barely see him, but he's there and he's huge!
Marley took her sweet time on the way out there and smelled some pretty flowers along the way.
When we got to the spring, we all couldn't believe how beautiful it was! And the water was so clear!
We ate our lunch at a picnic table by the water and then walked down to where the spring hits the river.
Asa showed Marley all the fish he could see. There was a woman trying to catch a 2 foot trout, and the water was so clear that we could all see him teasing her inches away from her line.
Marley didn't want her picture taken today!
And she insisted on taking her shoes off!
It was a beautiful area, and I definitely want to go back sometime! It will be even more gorgeous down there when the leaves start changing colors and fall is in full swing.

Time in Austin

While Marley and I were in Texas, we went with my mom and Joel to Austin for the weekend to see some of our extended family! We stayed at Mimi and Pawpaw's house and Aunt Julie, Uncle Andy, Jack, and Alex came from Houston to spend the weekend with us also. Marley got to open some birthday presents, which she loved! Unfortunately I wasn't together enough to take pictures for some reason. But she looked absolutely adorable dressed up in her new tutu and first set of high heels!

On Saturday, we got to pick Emily up from camp. Marley was so excited to see Emily, a little put off by her loss of voice, but still attached to her from the second she found her! We got to see Emily jumping on the blob for the last time, and Marley got some Camp Longhorn attire.

We also got to take Marley to her first trip to Schlitterbahn! We didn't take our camera in to take pictures, because it wasn't really practical. But I wish I had a camera, because she LOVED it! She had a blast swimming with me, my mom, Aunt Julie, Deedee, Jack, and Alex. I was sad that Asa couldn't be there to see how much fun she had though. She was so worn out that she even took a nap in the stroller in the middle of the park. Being at Schlitterbahn brought back so many memories of when I used to go there all the time with my family. It was always so much fun and the perfect way to end the summer before school started. I hope Marley, Asa, and I can have family traditions like that.Also, while we were in Austin I got to visit two cloth diaper stores! I have never actually been to a physical store and I loved it! I loved being able to hold the different brands and figure out what I wanted to try next. I was telling Emily today that shopping for diapers is just as much fun as shopping for clothes to me! The second store we went to was fantastic and I could have spent hours and plenty of money in there. But Marley will hopefully be potty trained soon, so I will save all that excitement for the next baby!Marley had so much fun with everyone in Austin, and she is still talking about Mimi 2 all the time! She wants to call Mimi 2 and take pictures for Mimi 2... she even says "Mimi Thoo" and holds up two fingers. I can't wait until we get to see everyone again!

Straight out of the box