Not a Happy Camper

Marley has been crying off and on ALL day long. Asa's went to do some boy thing this morning, so I went over to my mom's for a break. I held her, she cried. My mom held her, she cried. It can probably be blamed on the fact that she has not pooped in 8 days. 7 days is normal for Marley, but this is the first time we have hit 8. And it is not a good thing. I finally came home about 30 minutes ago and she is now sound asleep with Daddy. Maybe she just missed the smell of her own house...

We are going to our neighbor's recital at the college tonight. Hopefully she will behave for my mom when she is keeping her. If not... I will have to leave the concert. I'll just fall to the floor and crawl out undetected. 007 style.

Today is my Birthday, but...

Birthdays are somewhat less fun when you have an infant. She still cries. She still poops. I still have laundry to do... She did give me a break and slept an hour longer than normal. That was nice of her. I guess that's a pretty good birthday present.

I have noticed that I get really frustrated with Marley is screaming in my ear and I can't figure out what's wrong. I try to feed her, rock her, give her the binky, walk around, sing... but she keeps crying. This sounds normal except that when I ask Asa to try for a little while, she immediately quiets. So, she can "feel" my stress. I have started to try to relax the last few days, but sometimes it is so hard! I don't want her to be crying, it breaks my heart. So, I get upset. Here are my strategies for calming myself and Marley at the same time- sing softly and sway and make a "sh" sound really softly. If I combine that with thought of how sweet she was earlier and how cute her laugh is, it totally works!

This morning the three of us went to Chilis for lunch. After about 10 minutes in the restaurant, she was sound asleep! How can it be so easy sometimes and so hard other times? What is the secret?

Here are some cute pictures from this morning:
It was REALLY cold outside!

The Time Of My Life

This is really the best time of my life. I am so blessed with a wonderful family with Asa and Marley and a wonderful family of my mom, Joel, Chris, and Emily. And Asa's family is also wonderful. How could I be more happy?! I know that things with Marley will only get more fun, but I could be happy if it just stayed the way it is right now. She is an amazing little person and I can't wait to see where things will go!

I guess I am considered an "attached parent". I am a breastfeeding, baby wearing, co-sleeping (half the night), responsive parent. I get SO mad when people tell me that I am spoiling my baby by wanting to hold her or responding to her first cries. Don't tell me that she just needs to cry for a little while and then she will be okay. If I can help her right now, I will! I will not be able to let her "cry it out"... I don't know how some mothers do. I really just think you do what works for you. I want to be a mother that does these things, so no one should be able to tell me otherwise. I just have to listen to what they say, nod, and forget about it. Everyone is going to have an opinion at some point. I will not get everything right, but I will always love her no matter what. And if I want to change something for my next little bundle, I will.

I have pretty much given up on trying to ditch the pacifier fir right now. I will try again in a few weeks, but she really acts like she needs it right now. I am very lucky that she only wants it for going to sleep right now. She doesn't want it when she's playing or once she gets to sleep... just while she's on her way.

I have been getting really excited about Christmas! Not only will this be Marley's first holiday season, but our first as a family together. I want to get her presents and we will take lots of pictures of course. It is my birthday tomorrow and Asa's was the 11th. I will be 21. I have never liked an alcohol I have tasted, so its not like I am heartbroken that I won't have any. Breastfeeding Marley is WAY more important to me. Did you know that for the first year of life you can save about $3000 if you breastfeed?! Seems like incentive enough.

Marley is a little angel lately. She coos and laughs all the time and just figured out her hands a little bit. She has just started to blow little raspberries with her mouth. She makes a "buh" sounds and purses her lips while spit pours out of her mouth. It is the cutest thing even though there is spit all over her. We are trying to get her to say "boob". That would be a fun first word! She will spend the entire day with her hands together in front of her chest. She just rolls them around and feels on her fingers and then sucks on the when they get close to her mouth. It is the cutest thing! I am worried that she is behind physically compared to other babies. Than I have to remember not to compare. It really doesn't matter how fast or slow she is at learning something, because she WILL get there, no matter what. I hope by Christmas she can at least grab some things though... that would be fun.

Marley hates tummy-time.

Marley's new best friend! She will sit there forever looking at herself and at her feet!

Working out! Building up those neck muscles!

I really feel like Marley knows how much I love her. When other people are holding her, she stares right at me. She loves me... even if she can't tell me yet!

Sleeping through the night

Marley slept again for 10 hours last night! It was 5:00 when I finally woke her up, because I couldn't even sleep since my boobs were so full!! Then she went back to sleep until 8:00. I am so glad she can make it that long. She seems so little still, so I don't know how she does it, but she does!

Yesterday, Asa and I went to target to do some Christmas shopping. Marley was really good, even though she didn't really get a good nap in. Anyway, this woman in Target walked up and asked me if she was a preemie! She didn't even ask me how old she was or anything. I was upset because people keep making comments like that. She is just petite, not unhealthy! I got a little annoyed and defensive, so I just said something and walked away.

She has all the sudden started to happy most of the day. She cries MUCH less than she used to and wants to smile and talk all the time. Asa went camping Friday night and came back on Saturday. He said she was totally different than when he left, and that she was so much more fun. She was fun before, but she actually responds now! And he actually wants to play with her now since she will laugh at him so much.

I am starting to really wish that I could find a job where I can work from home. Not for right now, but when I have future children. Maybe by then I will be able to afford to have someone take care of my kids at home. I just keep thinking about day cares and they bug me. I want my kids to spend time with someone that cares about them. Anyone have any ideas for jobs I can do from home?

3 Month Birthday

Marley has been "talking" a whole lot today! She actually "sang" with me too! I am excited because I can actually interact with her. She is also laughing more easily. She used to only laugh when we did something really silly, but now she is so happy all the time. She also slept 10 hours straight last night!! She can hold her head up really well by now and has really been figuring out her hands. She grabs Asa's hair all the time and always manage to find her fingers to suck on. The other day she reached up and touched my face! She looked like she completely meant to do it. I was so proud of her... she's growing up so fast!

Today Marley is three months old. It feels like I just had her last week though. I was looking at pictures of me when I was pregnant the other day thinking about how weird it is that I know now who was in there the whole time. I am definitely loving this part of being a mother. I hope that one day Marley can read all this and realize how fascinated I am with her and how much I love her. It is hard to even explain how much I adore her. Even when she toots and stinks up the whole room, she is adorable. I love being with her everyday. I love being the person she wants. And I love seeing her smile at me. Right now is the best time we have had. I know she sees me and loves me! I loved when she was a newborn, but right now is so much fun! I can't wait for what comes next!

Almost 3 months!!

Well Obama won the election. I didn't really have a strong opinion either way since I had a newborn and wasn't paying close attention... but I wanted McCain to win. He seemed like a better and wiser person. But here is something way more exciting... some pictures taken of Marley with our new camera! I have been worried about Marley gaining the right amount of weight. Maybe it is just because we haven't been to the doctor recently to get weighed. It also feels like she doesn't smile or coo as much as she used to. I am probably just worrying for nothing and she is fine. but I have missed all her giggles and smiles. They get me though the day.

I am getting really nervous about the trip to Austin for Thanksgiving. I can't figure out when is the best time to go. I think we will try to leave Wednesday night after Marley has gone to sleep. Her first stretch at night is usually 6 or 7 hours, so we can make it the whole way by then. Granted, we will be really tired on Thanksgiving, but that's what family is for! haha If it doesn't work out, we can always change the way we do it for the trip back.

We tried to put Marley in her crib today and she wouldn't sleep in it. She is reaching the point now (3 months) when "they" tell you that your baby can start manipulating you and getting picky. I don't want to have a spoiled baby, but I want her to be happy and well taken care of. I want her to get sick of the pacifier. I try as hard as I can to stop her from needing it, but she grunts for it! And as soon as I give it to her, her eyes roll back in her head and she goes to sleep. I am not doing it after she is 4 months. I want to be her source of comfort, not the pacifier.

Friday is Marley's 3 month birthday. She and I will be celebrating by ourselves since Asa will be out of town. He is going fishing with his dad for his birthday. Asa's is 5 days away and mine is 9.

Tonight, Asa and I bought each other our birthday presents: commitment rings. We are going to wear them on our right ring fingers. They are not wedding rings, obviously, but they are a symbol of our commitment to each other and to Marley. Everyone makes comments about how we are not married yet and ask when it is going to happen. But, I feel like our life with Marley is much more of a promise to each other than a piece of paper that says we are married. We know we will be together, and it doesn't matter if that means we are married.