17 Months

It's hard to even comprehend how old she is. I know 17 months isn't old, but it's way older than two months. Or even six months. She is such a little lady now, with a big personality, but a small one at the same time. She is an amazing little person, for all the changes we have been putting her through, and I couldn't be more proud of her. She's a champ.

One of the problems I am facing lately is that I'm torn. On one hand I want time to hurry up so that Asa will be home with us. Even if that doesn't mean here in Nacogdoches, it just means that we will be together as a family. I have a countdown going for how many more weeks until he graduates and I say in my letters that I can't wait for him to be done. I tell Marley he will be home "soon" and I feel like if only time would go a little faster we could be settled again.

But on the other hand, I look at Marley and I wish time would slow down. She grows up so much every day and I constantly wonder if I did enough, enjoyed it enough, hugged her enough. I want time to go by a little slower so that I can savor every moment a little longer. When I think about what will happen in the next few years, I realize we will be busy and in new places and our days will go much more quickly than we want them to. With everything going on, how will we remember to slow down and watch Marley grow? It's overwhelming to think about.

She changes so much every day. She is starting to talk now and have an attitude and tell us exactly what she wants. I can tell exactly how she feels about something and our days are changing from me entertaining her, to her entertaining me. She makes me laugh more than anyone else does and her smile in the morning makes every day good.

I guess we just do the very best we can. Looking at her, I know we have done a great job raising her so far and I know she will be one hell of an adult one day. She will make us so proud of her and I will look back on this time with such great memories, even if it goes more quickly than I want.