11 Months

It hurts a little bit to think about Vivienne being 11 months old.  That means that in one month, she will be a year old.  How is that possible?  This time last year, I was looking down at my huge belly and I didn't know this little person who was in there.  So many things were unknown about that little baby.  Was it a boy or girl?  What would we name him or her?  What will it be like to have two?  Will I be able to do it without Asa?

And now I have this stunning baby.  She keeps us laughing and I absolutely adore her personality.  

She is silly and entertaining.  She tells us exactly how she feels, whether she is nervous about a stranger, angry you just took her new favorite piece of paper, or bursting with excitement to see us, everyone can tell how she feels. 

She's mischievous and into everything.  Literally everything.  We joke about how different she is from Marley, who never opened a kitchen or bathroom cabinet in all of her babyhood.  But Vivienne?  She hasn't met a cabinet door or box or bag or shelf that she didn't take apart.  She just goes for it.  And, oh she knows what she's doing!  When the house has been quiet for 30 seconds and I find her into something, she bounces and squeals and turns on the charm!  It's like she's thinking, "Oh wow! Mama! Look what I found!  I did this for you!"

Example: "Mama!  I found this diaper on my bum and thought you might want it!"

She is reaching the age where she studies us doing things and wants to do them for herself.  I love this stage, because I love watching her mind work and try to figure things out.  It is so rewarding to teach your baby something and know that they are learning and growing.  She copies us and plays with us more than ever before and that also makes it a lot more fun for Marley, who has been waiting for a playmate for a long time.

She has started walking this month, which is so exciting!  She is taking 5-10 steps at a time and she is proud of herself!  She bounces and pants with joy every time.  And sometimes claps for herself in the middle of it.  Of course, if she gets too excited she trips herself up and falls.  But she gets right back up!

I love watching her relationship with Asa grow.  She has enormous smiles for him when he walks in the door and she s happy to cuddle with him sometimes instead of me.  She reminds me a lot of him, so I see a future of fantastic time spent with each other and butting heads along the way.

I love the relationship she and I have also.  We're pretty crazy about each other.  The slobbery baby kisses and resting her head on my chest when someone tries to take her melt my heart into piece.

She's waving, pointing, clapping, and figuring new things out all the time.  This age is such a burst of knowledge and skills.  It is so much fun and she changes every day.

She is so irresistible in the mornings.  She wakes up in the best mood, with a huge smile smile she stretches and squirms toward me.  No matter how tired I am, this girl can get me to smile instantly when she looks at me like that.  I remember that feeling with Marley, like we should stay in bed in a good mood as long as we can.  And some mornings I beg with all my might to have that back with Marley!  There would be nothing better than two girls that happy and content in bed while we all wake-up.  Unfortunately, three-year-olds have way more important things to get to in the mornings.

She is still nursing like a pro and eating everything we give her.  I keep feeling like one day, she will just quit eating all the healthy foods, but it hasn't happened yet.  I can literally hand her anything and she eats it.  Slice of tomato? Oh, she loves it.  Green beans?  Ate every single one.  Lettuce?  Thought it was a little weird at first, but it's gone now!

It's 11 months into her life and I am looking at this precious little girl and I feel like she was always meant for us.  And we were always meant for her.  She has brought so much joy and laughter to us already in her short 11 months.  I worry about if I have enjoyed these 11 months as much as I should have.  Sometimes I don't feel like I did.  It has been hard to have two little ones, a husband deployed, life in a constant state of change, and me trying to hold on to it all.  It felt out of control more than I want to admit.

I think that's a normal Mama feeling.  It would be so nice sometimes if we could go back and do certain things over again.  Enjoy them a little more.  Savor the special times that we might have overlooked the first time around.  But it stings my heart to admit that we can't.  That time is over, and there is only one way to change anything.  Savor those times today.  And tomorrow.  And next week.