I am so excited for what is coming, I just cry thinking about every thing that is gone now. I have such a terrible memory (one of the reasons for this blog) and I am just so scared that I will forget what it feels like to hold her like this. I don't want to forget what it feels like when she wallows in my neck when she's tired, or how she clings to my arm when I try to put her down. I don't want to forget her wet, open-mouth kisses and how they can make me smile no matter what kind of mood I am in. I love that if I pretend I am sad, she looks very concerned and wants to hug me immediately. I know that none of that will magically change tomorrow, but it will eventually. It literally makes my stomach hurt and it makes me worry if we have done everything the best we can. She is obviously healthy and happy and beautiful, so that comforts me. But I will miss Baby Marley. Today we practiced being able to hold up one finger to say how old she is. She can stick the one finger up when I show her, but she can't get the others down. Hopefully, I will remember to do everything I want tomorrow.
A year ago tonight, we were walking around Walmart trying to induce my labor. Obviously that didn't work since I was induced the next morning. We spent most of the rest of the night talking about how excited we were. And we set two alarms to make sure we got up on time. And guess what! We missed both and we were an hour late to our own birth.
I am so thankful that I have been blessed with such a wonderful life. I have a fantastic family and a beautiful daughter. The past year has been the best of my life. And even with the challenges and things that brought me down, Marley was always there to cheer me up and make those things seem so insignificant.
We are so lucky.
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